Film Review: Elegy

Released in 2008, Elegy, starring film giants, Sir Ben Kingsley and Penelope Cruz, is a melancholy romance. What does the word elegy mean? It is a poetic or musical lament. Keep this in mind as you view this introspective film. I am a huge fan of Sir Ben Kingsley and have always loved Penelope Cruz so I was delighted to discover their collaborative effort in Elegy. Kingsley plays David Kepesh who is a professor and Cruz plays Consuela who is a Cuban student in one of his classes.

He invites her and his students to his loft for a party. Everyone is eating and socializing while Consuela gazes at his books. There is a subtle scene where he joins her at the bookshelf and he very quickly smells her hair. It is so quick and so subtle, it's very easy to miss but it was such a clever addition to his character. He sets out to solely seduce her but her sweet gentleness and curious inquiry of their status encourages him into a relationship with her.

Sooner than later, his feelings for her deepen. They have a passionate sexual relationship which wasn't filmed in a crude or vulgar manner. Kingsley is very attentive and Cruz is bright eyed, curious, and full of affection for him. Kingsley is an attractive man but his behavior makes him appear childish and Cruz has no choice but to make up for the lack of maturity.






She is deeply in love with him and so is he but his love becomes obsessive. There is a scene when they are in the car and he says he'll call her and she says, "No, I'll call you." As the film progresses, he loses control and this drives him to slight her in a way that causes her to disappear from his life. I was rooting for them and this separation was devastating to watch. A year later, she re-enters his life and what unfolds will tug at your heart.

Elegy ends beautifully. As it fades away you will exhale in hopeful delight! .-_-

 

Book Review: Words That Hurt, Words That Heal

Created by Kubasian

The holidays are coming up! I love this time of year. It's a time to reflect, cook, eat, and spend time with family and friends. It's also a time of reconcilliation for any familial rifts or any friendships that have drifted apart. What we choose to say to each other and about each other are more important than we think which is what led me to review this book.

Released in 1998, Words That Hurt, Words That Heal: How to Choose Words Wisely and Well by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin is a wonderful book about guarding the words that come out of your mouth. Most interpersonal problems people face are the direct result of what someone has said or heard someone say about them.

Rabbi Telushkin has split his book in five parts almost like an opera with five dramatic acts:

Part One: Like an overture to an opera, this small section discusses the power of words and uses anecdotes sensitizing the reader to the strength of words. By exposing the true ugliness of hurtful words, it urges the reader to repel and desire to learn how to use this powerful tool.

Part Two: This section is very helpful to those who are stuck or confused about what to say and how to stop gossiping. Through more anecdotes from his life, the bible, and lives of his peers, Rabbi Telushkin tells us how to speak ABOUT others. I appreciated how he validated the lure of gossip and how easy it is to slander each other whether the person is a public figure or a peer. My favorite section in part two is "When, If Ever, Is It Appropriate to Reveal Information That Will Humiliate or Harm Another?" This little section is a must read for every one of all ages.

Part Three: This section is the steak of the entire book. Here is where Rabbi Telushkin explains how to talk TO others. He tells us how to kindly criticize and rebuke fairly. My favorite part of this section is his recommendation to rebuke in a way that maximizes the good and minimizes the bad.

Part Four: This is a beautiful section. It's about restoration, reconciliation, and how to heal. Everyone in their life has said something he/she wishes he/she did not say. There are times when you do not have to address an issue; showing concern by inquiring, "How are you?" will suffice and may open a door to healing.

Part Five: This section is his charge for the reader. He recaps everything he has discussed giving the reader all the highlights and tools to immediately improve his/her words after reading the last page. This is the section for those who want a quick reference after reading the book and want a refresher.

This book changed my life. I was left with a great understanding of the power of words and how I have the choice to either add tension or relieve tension through my words. This whole book boils down to one phrase: how to love others through words. It is such a broad statement but his reasoning to love others (even strangers) and how to do so is untenable; philosophically and morally. If one values the importance of valuing others, he/she will realize Rabbi Telushkin speaks truth with sweet firmness.

Get your copy before the holidays and reconcile with those you love, like, and can't stand!